My fellow therapists, here is my plea:

• Ferociously protect the capabilities borne of your sensitivity. 

• Dismiss the notion of intellectual prowess as a sign of superior skill.

• Take heart that you are doing important work, and know that public recognition is not proof of goodness and empowerment. 

• Forgive yourself and others for the times you overextended yourself in an effort to be loving. 

• Visualize the imprint of the transformative qualities held in your rare and deep presence, and breathe that imprint into your heart whenever you feel lonely, unseen, or outcast. 

Being able to slow down and come back to ourselves in the midst of the intense pace we’re required to keep is crucial for our own health and happiness, and for the welfare of every person we serve. When we hustle, we radiate a wake of anxious energy all around us. The art of learning the difference between hustle and focused drive is a lifelong pursuit! It requires deep self awareness to recognize, and then shift into, a state of slow flow even as the world spins around us. We really can be connected in the midst of life’s frenetic pace. That connection is where meaning and joy and love, and HEALING, wait for us.

I’m not saying your education, clinical judgment, and techniques aren’t important. But my friends, those things simply are not enough when it comes to creating authentic connection, deep trust, and the kind of impact that motivates your patients to do what is most important.

It is imperative that when we are bringing awareness and witness to scary places so that they can open and heal, we must be willing to be authentically connected and trustworthy. There is no level of education that can substitute for the kind of trustworthiness that comes from our own willingness to be present as a fellow feeling human being. 

I have worked in a world marked by the pursuit of well being for decades now. Though the clinics and clients have changed over the years, one thing has remained the same - the conversation around wellness often sounds like an endless pursuit of a final destination - a destination of being “healed.”

This pursuit is understandably, insatiable. It can be filled with desperation, an urgent desire to escape pain and access a sustained and liberated experience. The complete absence of pain comes to be conflated with what it means to be healed. Pain is seen as the enemy, and treated as such. As therapists, we often feel this urgency in our client, and we rush to find solutions - despite our knowing that healing is not a linear path.