A Love Letter to Empaths, Intuitives, and Highly Sensitive Therapists
Psst, you back there. Hey…hi. I see you.
You’re an empath. You’re an introvert. You’re highly sensitive.
Does any of this sound like you?
You’re often at your best when you communicate with one person at a time. You need a lot of solitude to decompress, unwind your mind, and recover from engaging with others (even with fulfilling relationships.) Keeping up with the cultural norms of rapid pace and high productivity can feel exhausting; sometimes you end up overcompensating by being ultra-productive.
Few people understand your version of fun, which is devoid of small talk, surface ideals, self- aggrandizement, or gossip. You value heart and soul over social status and appearance. You value humility, beginner’s mind, and compassion not only in your work but in all of your relationships. Your ability to see, hear, feel, or just know pain, truth, or the words contained within silence is highly developed. You can sense the core motivation of others almost immediately.
You have a close inner circle, comprised of a small group of people who understand that your need for solitude is not a form of rejecting them. In fact, they help you protect the time and space you need to regenerate your energy. These people are trustworthy, and you share yourself fully with them, including the keen sense of humor which is usually reserved for your own inner dialogue. You may have a very large group of acquaintances who call themselves friends, however many are more interested in benefiting from what you have to give rather than understanding who you are. You’ve learned many lessons around healthy giving, boundaries, and trust, and that wisdom is continually engaged as you seek to balance the gifts of sharing and reciprocity. You’ve betrayed yourself more than once in the effort to give others the benefit of the doubt. Despite loving to give, it may feel dangerous to receive, because too often the care that is extended to you is transactional in nature, or is offered in a judgmental attempt to “pull you out of your shell” rather than to celebrate your strengths.
You have struggled watching luminaries acting from ego and judgment, rather than the principles of compassion and connection they teach. You know you have a place in the world of helping others find their way to expansion and healing, but you are not aligned with the current methods of rising into recognition in your field. You know your value but you feel a constant sense of trying to swim upstream in a world that prefers to celebrate ego, extroversion and self-promotion. You have little tolerance for the rampant dishonesty and smoke-and-mirrors portrayals that are somehow not only acceptable, but expected, for social media, marketing, and expanding your reach.
Perhaps you have made a decision to just do what you know in the quiet spaces of your treatment room, your mind, and your heart. You approach continuing education with an open beginner’s mind, rather than participating in attention seeking and performative behaviors. You’ve stayed aligned with your mission to serve in ways that are honest, compassionate, and healthy for all parties. You stay true to yourself even when it leads to isolation. You draw from a deep well of hard earned wisdom and personal strength as you navigate a world that often considers you weak and apathetic. You quietly serve.
I am here to say: I see you.
You are not invisible.
Your power is deep and real and so needed.
Our world needs your example of a more nuanced way of being strong, integrous and accomplished. And that doesn’t need to involve an extroverted persona, a marketing strategy that’s all the rage, a trendy airbrushed appearance on social media, fluency in the currently hip vocabulary…
Your unshakeable alignment with serving from felt-sense honesty is a superpower. Just think how influential we could be if we all kept our promise to work and live from this truth, seeking to bring people back home to themselves rather than trying to elevate ourselves. Honesty and true partnership in the treatment room can be miraculous, sending ripples of empowerment, compassion, healing, and yes love, out into the world as one person after another comes to the remembrance that we are all connected.
My fellow therapists, here is my plea:
Ferociously protect the capabilities borne of your sensitivity.
Dismiss the notion of intellectual prowess as a sign of superior skill.
Take heart that you are doing important work, and know that public recognition is not proof of goodness and empowerment.
Forgive yourself and others for the times you overextended yourself in an effort to be loving.
Visualize the imprint of the transformative qualities held in your rare and deep presence, and breathe that imprint into your heart whenever you feel lonely, unseen, or outcast.
May all forms of benevolent strength be honored! And if you identified with some or all of these descriptions, may you know a peaceful home in the most sensitive, perceptive, and giving places of your own heart. I would love to visit you there if you need some support.
With love,
Tara