The Real Hero of Any Authentic Healing Journey: Reflections from a Myofascial Release Therapist
Imagine....A patient comes to you with a willingness to dive deep - even if they don’t really know what that means yet. Once they are on the table, they respond to your work! They are present and willing to connect with you. You nudge. Perhaps they unwind...maybe they slide right off your table into a puddle on the floor. Maybe... they have a deep emotional release. You respond with explanations, reassurances, and caretaking.
They walk out of the treatment room a bit ungrounded and unsure what just transpired. You respond as the wise, all-knowing expert. This happens in the form of words, body language, eye contact, and touch. You move them; you educate them. They become mesmerized with your magnificently rare insight and energy. Their quest for an all-knowing expert on their body, mind, and emotions is finally fulfilled. They form an instant attachment, even addiction, to your physical and verbal caretaking.
They book a weekly appointment for the remainder of the year.
What’s wrong with this picture?
All of the hallmarks of a great session are there...your patient’s willingness to be vulnerable, an emotional release, your ability to educate and comfort, and their commitment to more treatment. But my friends, it is all wrong.
Who does the patient see as the hero in this scenario? The therapist.
The real hero of any authentic healing journey is never an outside character; it is always the one experiencing the healing. Any other scenario is a story of the real hero’s inner power being usurped. Indulge me for a moment...
Think about Star Wars. What if Yoda had used his own very powerful abilities and insight with The Force to help Luke fix everything in his life? Luke never would have realized his own power and gained the immense skill and insight that he needed to fight darkness.
Or, if every time Harry Potter was bullied by his peers, and targeted by Voldemort - Dumbledore just swooped in and protected him, using his magic to see into the future? Harry never would have identified his own inner resources and grown into the magician that he needed to be. He would have never realized his own power, or gained the immense skill and insight needed to transmute the darkness he encountered!
What if you have a similar kind of magic?
An incredible talent for rapidly nudging someone into emotional release, the insight to explain everything to your patient. What if you have become the magician, the expert for your patient, and are holding them back from connecting with their own inner power and wisdom? I think you know where I am going with this…
In my experience, therapists rarely set out to create a power hierarchy on purpose. While there are always people who are shamelessly working from pure ego, that is more rare than simply a misguided philosophy on what it means to be an effective and successful therapist.
So how can we begin to shift that dynamic - moving from the all knowing powerful position of “expert” to truly becoming a collaborator on the path to our client’s healing?
First we have to acknowledge some reasons why we may be jumping into the “expert” performance….
The therapist is hiding from their own vulnerability and healing process. Because of this, they cannot participate in the authentic healing process with others without protecting themselves from what it brings up inside of them (after all, the ego is simply a fierce protection mechanism)
The therapist has been taught, through their training and the behavior modeled by their teachers, that being the expert is necessary to engender trust in their patients
The therapist has one internal hallmark of a successful session: intense release. And they do what it takes to make that happen.
The therapist has a limited measuring stick of what it means to be a successful business, and that involves being so magical that people want to come back.
Do you see yourself in this “therapist” referred to above? You’re not alone.
It can feel impossible to release the protective layers that the “expert role” offers and embrace the true vulnerability that this work entails. It is when we can show up in our clinical practice with a willingness to be wrong that we access the openness and flexibility that is required to foster truly authentic healing - in ourselves and others.
How can you begin to transform your understanding of what it means to be an “expert”?
Take the first steps to embracing the beginner’s mind in your therapeutic practice...
Nurture transparent communication
Invite alternative signs of meaningful healing
Reflect on what it means for you to communicate and express from an authentic place
Practice mindfulness
Know that being aware of our ego takes time and gentle yet persistent awareness
This week: Watch out for your desire to....
Cut tough questions off at the pass
Soothe emotion
Take things personally
Hold unwinding and emotional release as the pinnacle of deep work
Strive to communicate:
Humility
Partnership
Compassion
Neutrality without judgment
This is a consistent practice that requires showing up for, over and over again.
Wishing you patience and grace as you evolve in your therapeutic practice.
For resources to support your journey as a Myofascial Release Therapist head to my website to access a FREE Inner Compass Guidebook, check out my upcoming online course, and stay in touch on instagram and facebook!